well, it’s taken me 6 weeks to get over it and finally publish the review. i sent out an email to all attendees asking for their highlights or just events that took place. from the friday morning it was just a crazy sequence of happenings. when i said to pip ‘i’m leaving in 10 minutes’, he said ‘i’m a chance’, by the time i got out of the shower he’d packed his bags and the car was idling. thats the sort of commitment rangerfest thrives on. anyway, in chronological order, some of the collective thoughts from this year’s ‘festers……

- Pip’s surprise appearance at Keith Bakery albeit hung over as fuck

- Stumpy attempting to break the land speed record on the trip there

- Howie breaking Pip’s passenger window with a rock and them driving 100km in the freezing cold wind

- Pip yacking while the window was getting fixed

- Any good stories of drinking games in the cars? – Porter’s car had one involving road kill and cows, Schonny’s was Commodore v Falcon

- Porter’s car downing all 30 beers on the way to Mt Gambier (I’m sure other cars did equally well)

- Old Mt Gambier Jail for so many reasons (mainly the toilet set-up including in cells and the doorless court yard toilet, lack of linen, no breakfast etc)

- Cobdogla footy dead shits staying at the Jail

- Jordy’s fingering of Llama/Alpaca very early Friday night

- Geordie trying to hijack a firetruck

- Geordie claiming a VB holder for “Men who have had their arm in an Alpaca” – suggestion of new nickname for him being Pac-man.

- Rangers smashing the raffle at the first pub on Friday night (2x meat trays followed by portable gas cooker, in addition to screw driver set and the short team winning a step ladder)

- Pablo the step ladder…….

- Jordy’s drunkenness during the first night’s dinner in the dining area

- Putty Cosak dancing all over those Cogdobla boys, then ‘shitting’ in their hat to prove he was way better than them

- Major bribing bar chicks for extra points in drinking yahtzee with a $20 meat voucher

- Howie’s massive spew very early on the first night from necking too many light beers during drinking Yahtzee

- Stumpy wearing only his ranger jacket for the first night after giving away his top at about 8pm

- Wiz’s dancing at the South Australian

- Richo’s drunkenness at the South Australian that lead him to being put to bed upstairs at 10pm

- Cougar and Porter having their attempts to write ‘I LOVE COCK’ on Richo’s forehead stopped by their own laughter

- The general odour from farting in pubs the first night

- Sam ‘Wheel’ Ferris stealing 5 bar mats, stashing them to gain entry to another pub, forgetting to collect them, and then reclaiming them on the final day

- Porter and Pip getting shut down by that smoking hot chick at ‘the G’ cos she was going to be in Zoo

- Willow’s challenging of himself to scull any drink bought for him or any drink that was remaining in someones hand

- Willow sleeping with the alpaca in the open on wet grass while rain drizzling

- Byron climbing the 45 degree brick wall thingy in front of the aquatic centre on the Friday night walk home only to fall on his arse and sliding all the way down effectively ‘cheese grating’ his arse and ripping his jeans

- Wiz crawling around on all fours in alpaca crap at 4am

- Major and Brüno picking up locals only to pass out and miss phone calls

- Shunsuke’s cell waking up to him taking a dump….

- The general degree of hangover-ness on Saturday morning

- The OK pie shop where pies were better than OK

- Op-shop amusing outfits and the ‘twist’ – costume highlights Pip, Stumpy, Schonny and Geordie

- Shunsuke looking like a contestant on ‘Farmer wants a wife’

- Mt Gambier greyhound racing

- Cougar yelling out “run you gorgeous animal” at the dog races

- Old lady at the dogs asking Wiz if she can have his yellow jacket

- Pip’s hangover-ness again on Saturday

- Tigger Golf! Born from boredom at the races 

- Porter hitting tigger onto track as the race was about to jump

- Howie racing the greyhounds, and winning

- The greyhound bashing thru the barrier at the end of the trial and necking the bunny

- Football game after the races including Stumpy’s overhead effort; plus a couple of the Cobdogla boys joining in thinking this will be easy, first thing one did was catch the ball and say ‘is that handball’

- Trying to herd the alpacas into the jail courtyard and having one charge Garry who pussied out

- Garry getting the trout for being Garry

- Richo getting hit in the head by the football (by Howie I think) while taking a piss in the doorless courtyard toilet (he wasn’t happy)

- Howie climbing the prison wall to get the frisbee that was thrown on the roof (amazing!)

- Massive 20 square handball game in the jail exercise yard before Saturday night’s dinner and pablo the stool actually managing to BEAT two people

- Anger at ‘the G’ for those whose food took over an hour to come out Saturday night

- After waiting an hour for his food, Pip’s pizza was easily the worst greasiest pizza ever (Doffa tasted it and can confirm)

- Richo forgetting to order dinner

- Everyone putting in $1 to see Major snort tomato sauce

- Everytime Garry tried to pass the trout on, having it overruled

- The towel sculling game Saturday night (including Garry dropping it in the urinal)

- Pip going home early Saturday night only to be kept awake by a Heavy Metal band, throwing of glass, Chinese neighbours playing guitar and throwing up from the terrible pizza plus goths setting off fireworks

(Pip’s actual message: Megadeath finished two hours ago, dickheads were hanging around for an hour, one bloke got glassed, and now the 4 chinese dudes in the cell next to me have pulled out a guitar and are singing. Best wknd ever.)

- Softness of many blokes Saturday night including Willow, Pip, Wiz, Luke etc who went home early

- Slaps at the South Australian on Saturday night and of course Garry almost dislodging Richo’s bottom teeth (footnote, it’s a broken jaw)

- Slady needing no excuse to completely drop his dacks!

- Jordy’s terrible arse crack and the unknown ‘arse clit’/'butt fringe’ that was caught on camera

- Saturday night at The ‘G’ – that amazing woman who is still costing Porter sleep, the young rangers on the prowl, an old lady giving Baz a special cake

- Putty giving Ferris a kiss as he tried to chat up a local her response to him “I knew you were gay! getaway!”

- Some douche bag who was friends (no idea how) with the honies Brüno and Major were tuning at Shadows, after Major offers a handshake, he keeps telling us that they are his sisters and tries to break his pinky finger, fuckwit

- Jaala (Bar girl from South Aussie) kissing Austins girl lookalike with all of us looking stunned forgetting that was a photo we needed

- Porter stealing some random chicks camera outside of the nightclub next to the G and smashing it on the ground

- Confirmed Lesbian (Jaala) driving Putty to get $80 worth of Maccas at 4am on Saturday night and then dropping this off at the Jail where the rest of the boys were waiting (Thanks to Jaala for driving)

- Fezdog, at 430am, climbing the fence of a pool next to the police station, with Brados, scratching his stomach on the wire, and then in his jocks and a towel carrying his shit, after we’d told him cops were coming, running and stacking it into bushes nearby, cutting his foot up real good

- Brüno and Brados repeating their Friday night efforts on the second night by passing out (outside) while girls were trying to call them

- After the worst weekend of his life Pip waking at 5.45am Sunday morning to make it back to Adelaide only to see Sturt get smashed in the GF

- Stumpy picking up a speeding fine coming home. The cop asked for his driver’s license and he passed her his Visa Card

- Brüno getting Doffa with the towel on the last day in Naracoorte

 the catch cry for the weekend was (understandably) wow