Games Played: 127
Games Coached: 140
Committee Service: President: 1998-2005
Nickname: El Presidente
Lookalike(s): Humpty Dumpty
If Malcolm Blight were Italian and short, he would be Dino Mancini. The Messiah of the Unley Rangers. Or the Adam whence no Eve was around. The very first Unley Ranger and the man who gave birth to the Unley Rangers back in 1998.
To be remembered as the pioneer of the club that is what it is today, Dino provided the backing and professionalism to create the Unley Old Scholars Soccer club and constructed the club in its administration to ensure the strength of its off field position as an Incorporated Body.
Dino’s journey included 127 matches across a number of grades and also successful spells as a coach between 1998 and 2006 ranging across a number of divisions and the inaugural division 1 coach whom he coached to a premiership at his first crack. His illustrious tenure also included 8 years as President (the longest by any to date) and establishing the first committee.
And it may not be 100% factual, but Dino can also kick 100m barrels.
Games Played: 276
Games Coached: 57
Committee Service: President: 2006-2011, Treasurer: 1998-2002
Lookalike(s): Julia Gillard, Craig Williams, The Colour Orange, Alfred E Nuemann, Mark Bickley
Known for the sharpest shins in the history of the Unley Rangers, Jeremy has been at the club since day dot. First listed player in the almighty Rangers Information Centre, Jeremy has clocked up more games played than any other player and providing countless hours of input having played and/or coached in every season since inception.
A six year spell as the second President of the club followed 5 years on the committee as the inaugural Treasurer and the awarding of the Dino Mancini shield in 2001 as acknowledgement for his off field efforts. In addition, Jeremy is a 5 time premiership player, the Captain of the 2008 cup winning team and is also the longest serving Division 1 Captain in USSOC history.
Jeremy’s durability both on and off field has been second to none across the history of the club and was duly awarded with Life membership in 2013 and also nomination into the Team of the Decade for 1998-2007 and selected as Vice-Captain of the team to boot. To further enhance his more than warranted nomination, Jeremy is also famous for the USSOC acronym debacle (Unley Scholars Soccer Old Club was it Apples?) on a set of strips that only had to be worn for 3 seasons by 60 blokes each week.
Games Played: 143
Games Coached: 0
Committee Service: Associate Member: 1998-2002, 2007
Lookalike(s): The Sherminator, Ronald McDonald
Mr Fix it. Instrumental to the up keep and establishment of facilities in the early Ranger years, Robbo established himself as a crucial member in the founding of the Rangers with spells on the committee from 1998 to 2002 as an associate member and also returned for a quick spell in 2007 for one season.
A versatile player, Robbo was best known for his time spent up the ground whereby he onion bagged 11 goals in the opening season and duly took out goal scoring award. Having also performed expertly in other facets of the game, Robbo is the Right Back in the 1998-2007 team of the decade.
While Robbo may have scored one of the best hat-tricks in Ranger history at Mercedes, it was made all the better given it was on the back of about 9000 beers*, a Big Mac meal and iced coffee as the pre match carbs.
Games Played: 215
Games Coached: 0
Committee Service: Secretary 2008 – 2011, Associate Member 2003-2005, 2007
Nickname: Doffa, Doc
Lookalike(s): Jean Claude Van-Damme, Neo, The Shining
A founding member, Doffa holds an illustrious title at the Unley Rangers as the only member to have played in all six premierships and both cup triumphs since the 1998 inception. The most memorable on field moment probably arrived when Doffa torpedoed a 2 yard thunderbastard which all but sealed the Division 2 title back in 2007. Also a member of the 2008 cup winning team and a participant on route to the 2011 final Doffa has made himself a player for the big game.
After being included on the first ever team sheet, Doffa has been a general mainstay at the Rangers since ‘98 and followed up 200+ games with 8 years of service to the Unley Rangers’ committee which included half as secretary.
Having started as a defender way back when, Doffa has progressed to being… a defender in recent times, where he still presses regularly for Division 1 selection. A physical presence like no other that the Rangers have seen, Doffa will happily discuss his attitude towards French footballers who play CSL while on exchange – “it was just a bit of friendly banter”
Having biceps the size of most blokes heads has proved to rather helpful. Respect.
Games Played: 126
Games Coached: 154
Committee Service: Associate Member: 1998, 2002-2004
Lookalike(s): Filing Cabinet, The Big Show, Tree Stump, Alf
Short in stature, big in character. Just about every bloke who has pulled on a Rangers kit has been influenced by Luke Hylton in some capacity. Whether it be coach, team-mate, committee member or barstool at the pub, Stumpy has undoubtedly given absolutely everything to the Unley Rangers when applying himself to a task. A Dino Mancini Shield to go along with his committee service underlines the time and effort Luke has given to the Rangers.
The most capped coach in the history of the club, Stumpy grew as a manger across his 8 seasons in charge of various teams, which culminated in the most deserved victory for such an applied Unley legend. Taking the division 3s to the CSL Cup win in 2011 is without question the highlight of a coaching career which influenced countless players.
The Unley Ranger faithful owe a great deal to the man known as Stumpy. Buy him a beer. But don’t talk Tottenham. Be prepared though, Stumpy could attempt to convince you as to why a tonne of feathers weighs more than a tonne of Robbie Fowlers.
Games Played: 225
Games Coached: 147
Committee Service: Associate Member 1999-2000
Lookalike(s): Grug, Ricky Gervais, Bill Oddie
Russy is officially the man who has poured most hours into coaching and playing at the Unley Rangers. No one has participated in more matches as player and a coach since the inception of the club.
The most gifted coach the Rangers have had in their time, any player who has worked under the man (phrasing) in their Ranger journey would without doubt share a thing or two (or three) that they learned from one especially gifted manager. Buy him a beer, talk football and see/hear about the game on a different level.
One time beards of glory competitor and inaugural Unley Ranger, Jono is the proud owner of 2 medals as manager including the 2004 Division 1 premiership and the 2008 CSL cup, which included a masterful display of managing to spark the comeback and deliver a first cup win for the club. To endorse his status as the finest Ranger manager to date, Jono was voted the coach of the UOSFC team of the decade from 1998-2007. A 2008 Division 2 best and fairest trophy is in the cabinet and he was duly recognised for his service to the club with a Dino Mancini Shield in 2004.
An especially gifted scotch drinker, the Unley Rangers presentation night is the place to be to enjoy some of Russy’s best humour. Well, at least watch Russy enjoy Russy. A well worthy UOSFC Life Member.
Games Played: 180
Games Coached: 0
Committee Service: Associate Member 1999-2000, 2008-2009, Secretary 2001-2003, Treasurer 2004
Nickname: Schonny, Schurno
Lookalike(s): Herschelle Kristovski, Olof Mellberg, Tom Harley
Another inaugural member who was on teamsheet number 1 back in 1998, the UOSFC have unlikely had another human like Schonny within their ranks. Much loved and respected for his impartiality, you would struggle to find a man who is/was more willing to offer time to improve the Ranger experience for those around him. A selfless role model for anyone sitting in a non-playing (and playing for that matter) role, Schonny racked up 8 years on the committee out of his 11 years served in total and was recognised accordingly in 2002 and 2008 with the Dino Mancini Shield.
The wraps don’t end there, if you ever require a deliciously cooked meal, the man can make your house a vego paradise at the drop of a hat and cook you a mean broccoli pasta… I digress… A four time premiership player, Schurno featured heavily the Division 2 success of 2007/8 whereby he cooked an amazing curry… wait… hungry… he helped deliver a record points tally on the march to the title. An often under-rated on field player, Schurn was a master at the holding midfield role with a quality pass and exceptional vision his trademark, while the earlier Ranger years saw a venture between the sticks as the norm.
The inventor of the tremendous club champion award and sole winner of the beards of glory competition, Schurno made it his business to make the Rangers a better place for those in it. It is immeasurable as to how fortunate those who have come across the man have been and how fortunate the Unley Rangers are as a sporting club to have had his influence for 11 years.
Games Played: 217
Games Coached: 0
Committee Service: Associate Member 2000, 2004-2008
Lookalike(s): Rodney Dangerfield
Where to begin with the accolades for Byron Holt? One of only nine Rangers to rack up 200 or more games Bazza made it his business to score goals in whichever team he took the field for. An incredible goals to game ratio with 152 in 217 (that means 70% of his matches included a sausage roll for those of you without calculators), Bazza is the second highest scorer in the history of the club and holds eight goalscorer awards through his career.
Not only a man for the snag (phrasing), four best and fairest and three players’ player awards were racked up along the journey all in contribution to becoming a six time premiership player and one of the most decorated Rangers to don the blue.
And while on the topic of snag, Bazza famously took part in the “chicks with dicks” campaign of 2003. Incidentally, this coincided with a Best and Fairest and Goal scoring award that year. Correlated? Quite possibly! The man himself is willing to explain further. Also buy beer. No Tottenham
A true Unley Ranger legend, Byron is a much loved cult type hero of the club who has been much missed in recent years since ceasing his playing career in exchange for being in photos with Jennifer Hawkins and Robin Bryson.
Games Played: 0
Games Coached: 0
Committee Service: Secretary 1998-2000, Associate Member 2001-2004
An inaugural committee member and early driver of the club when the rest of the boys were….well, boys. Having an experienced, knowledgeable and above all dedicated member on the committee certainly rubbed off on all the lads (phrasing) who at that stage thought the big decisions were Mushroom/Pepper sauce or whether the fav was going to win Dapto race 8. It turns out recording minutes and discussing expenses is important. 7 years of committee service was rewarded with the 2003 Dino Mancini Shield, although there is speculation it was years of cooking the barby which earned the largest respect of those early teams.
Marilyn was as equally dedicated to match day support as she was to the committee and the barby. Maz….and her decky….and hubby missed less games for the Rangers than Eduardo Santos played, and occasionally got in the ear of opponents who were clearly not thinking logically. Like mother like son?
Did not compete in Beards of Glory. Scored as many goals as the Wizard.
Games Played: 169
Games Coached: 0
Committee Service: Associate Member 2002-2003, Secretary 2004-2007
A fairer and more likeable person you will not meet. Parko will most likely be known to everyone as the guy who brought Unley Rangers into the technological age with his ‘Beast’ of a presentation night powerpoint countdown program thing; but to those who had the pleasure of his company until his move north, he will be remembered for never having a bad word to say about anyone. There’s a chance he might have disliked someone once, but he displays a remarkable sense of calm that you’d never hear him verbalise it. Except with that ref in 1999, which was so out of character that we had to come up with an award for it….the Drink On Regardless. His trophy shelf also includes the 2005 Dino Mancini Shield, recognising his always thoughtful and unbiased input to the committee and the decisions which affected the club.
You might occasionally hear Apples describe a player as having ‘Parko legs’, stemming from an uncanny ability to lay a challenge when he seamed beaten. It was this skill, his record of never being beaten for a header (ever), and above all his endurance (n. • the capacity of something to last or to withstand wear and tear) which made him a fixture of the Rangers Div 1 defence for our first decade. He was a member of the first ever team to don the blue and blue – with hair more reminiscent of Megadeath than Lionel Messi – and perhaps missed less games than Eduardo Santos played. **
Some folk go about their business efficiently and without fuss – their value to organisations like the Rangers is priceless – and this is certainly true of Parko. Buy him a beer, mention that he’s scored more goals than the Wizard.
Games Played: 262
Games Coached: 73
Committee Service: Associate Member 2006, 2011, 2013-2014
Nickname: Stors, Storey
Lookalike(s): Kayne Pettifer, Doc Brown
Another ranger with a thirst for a sausage roll, Storey has the unparalleled record of the most goals recorded for the rangers to date. 154 goals in his 262 games is an astonishing return in anyone’s language and football in general at any level.
Having been blessed with a knack of being in the right place at the right time (not quite born off side as Sir Alex once quoted of a similar style footballer, though marginal), Stors has racked up goals across both of the Division 1 and Division 2 teams. Having overcome a number of injuries over the years, no one could question Ryan’s passion for the Ranger blue and determination to represent the club in any circumstance.
Many awards also reside in the Stor pool room including three premierships, a CSL Cup medal, seven top goal scorer awards to go with two best and fairest trophies to cover off his on field honours. Off field, a willing manager with four seasons worth of service and two premierships in those four seasons. An overdue nomination? Sure is. In he goes? Sure does.
Games Played: 252
Games Coached: 99
Committee Service: Associate Member 2005-2008
Nickname: Wiz, Wizard
An unassuming and tranquil character, a pacifist if you will, Wiz sits as one of only three to play 250 games and second on the all-time service of coach and playing list, for which the lead is in his sights in 2014, where he will coach game 100. Beginning in 1999, Wiz has become a virtual mainstay at the Rangers ever since.
Playing in every season and taking up a coaching role in 2009, to go with four years’ service to the committee, the overall efforts of Troy West have been matched by few. Another reason that the culture surrounding the UOSFC is as strong as it is.
Best known at the Rangers for his thirst for a goal, Wiz has an unparalleled record when it comes to the auld onion bag. Zero snags in 252 outings. Not to mention a missed penalty in game 250 just to round it out nicely. Side of a barn and all that. In fact, it was once rumoured that a couple were caught having sex in the loos at Ranger Park, given Wiz’s accuracy for the target, he was ruled out as a candidate immediately
Games Played: 225
Games Coached: 0
Committee Service: Associate Member 2005-2006
Lookalike(s): Edwin Van Der Sar
If you need something done, you go to this man. Whether it be a shed built, pitch measured, last ditch tackle thrown in or bursting run from defence through the centre of the park, Austin is your man. The first non Unley old scholar to play 200 games for the Rangers is also quite good.
If you ask any of the leaders of the club who they reach out to when the club temperature needs taking, it is Oz. He just knows. He has a great feel for the culture at the Rangers and often can sense when things are going astray and gets them back on track before anyone else even notices.
On field he is the natural leader that captained the B grade from 2005-2011. Over that period and under his leadership, the B grade won a lazy 4 premierships and never finished outside the top 3. When A Brandon speaks, people listen. If he goes to war, people follow.
He is lightning fast, exceptionally hard at the ball for his size and absolutely bleeds double blue.
Oh, and he keeps his football gear in a briefcase. Nuff said.
Games Played: 76
Games Coached: 0
Committee Service: Treasurer 2003, 2005-2011
Lookalike(s): Kevin Rudd, Kerrin McEvoy, Tin Tin
The first actual numbers man to take on the role of Treasurer at the Rangers and a benchmark did the man set! While Hodgy is probably the busiest man to ever set foot into Ranger park and haul on the blue, he was always committed to the cause of making the Rangers a functioning and efficient workplace regardless of the time it took to make the clock tick. His off field service in the number crunching space is as good as we’ve seen to date and left an indelible print for the way forward as I’m sure Pistol will endorse. Suitably recognised for his service away from the field, Hodgy was awarded the Dino Mancini shield in 2007. A more approachable bloke the rangers have probably not seen.
Not only the numbers man, Hodgy was far from a mug when the boots were laced and shinnies slotted in. A sturdy and reliable left back, Hodgy spent the majority of his career donning the flanks for the B grade and befittingly won the players player awards in 2005 and 2008. The latter award came in a premiership season, before being cut down by the dreaded ACL injury where the playing time ceased. Impressively, the ACL injury did not occur across the white line within the 90 minutes, rather when at Rangerfest (Mark 1, Jamestown) competing in human horseracing (which incidentally was far more interesting that the actually horses). However, this didn’t hamper the love of the Rangers however and Hodgy continued on with his committee and Treasurer commitments for three seasons post his playing days.
There was a whiff of a comeback in 2013, when there were a handful of matches played for the Division 3 team, however life rightly took priority and being a dad, husband and all round guru keeps Hodgy more than occupied these days.
Games Played: 180
Games Coached: 0
Committee Service: Associate Member 2000-2001, 2007-2011
Nickname: Wicko, Whispy.
The inspiration behind the invention of the Unley Rangers look-a-like, Heath Wickins developed a largely cult status at the Rangers during his stay at the club. A foundation member, Wicko notched up 180 matches for the rangers in his 11 playing seasons, including over 100 A grade matches, of which there are only 10 others to achieve a similar feat (at time of print). The 180 matches also included 35 snags, to prove Wicko was more than useful with the rock at his feet and was a part of both the A grade titles in 1998 and 2004, while also playing a significant role in assisting the B grade to premiership trophies in 2007 and 2008.
Away from the round ball, Wicko was always more than willing with donating his time to the club and was a highly valued committee member which included service to the club whence he wasn’t kicking the ball. In addition, being the resident gambler, Wicko was a large influence behind the Rangers Poker League monstrosity being a continual contributor and all round outstanding bloke to have a scotch with. To celebrate winning the Poker trophy on one occasion he even included a trip into the kitchen at the Archer Hotel for his evening, thinking that a direct dinner request from the chef would be more suitable. To cap the evening off, Heath thought that starting a fight/throwing a punch at his own reflection was warranted as a window “was giving him the stink eye” (stink eye – n. a facial expression of doubt, distrust, or dislike; a dirty look; skunk eye, the hairy eyeball) as he walked past. Oh, and Roshan’s place of residence has never been the same.
We miss Heath Wickins.
Woogie: so you’ve been in therapy, you know, thinking you blew it with the greatest girl ever and really, it turns out getting your dick stuck in your zipper was the best thing that ever happened to you.